Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
