Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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