it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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