we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
