pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
