Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
