haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
