Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
