Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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