Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
