I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
