I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
