The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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