Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
