I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
