the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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