There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
