Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
