i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
