Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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