no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
