So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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