you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
