if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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