I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
