i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
