K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We left an ass print on the piano.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
