Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
