idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
