I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
