another moral hangover. fuck.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
