is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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