i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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