ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
