she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
ok first of all what the fuck
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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