So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
