I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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