Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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