what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
