God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
