My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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