So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
