There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My pussy is not your playground.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
