**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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