yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
