We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
