You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
