HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
