I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She bit a glass in half.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
