The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Say something about gay babies.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize