My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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