marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
