Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
