I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
