So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
