No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
