you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
