I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
